


Google is your Friend

by Somecallmemichelle



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: All hail Google, Fun, Gen, Google - Freeform, Jokes, Monsters in the surface, Plotbunnies, Sans annoying Papyrus, Skeleton bros - Freeform, Writing Sprint, ok google, puns
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-19
Updated: 2017-12-19
Packaged: 2019-02-17 02:06:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,064
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13066875
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Somecallmemichelle/pseuds/Somecallmemichelle
Summary: Sans uses Ok Google to bring forth a cesspool of corny, crappy, or just plain punny jokes. Much to Papyrus' annoyance.





	Google is your Friend

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Congar](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Congar/gifts).



“Check it out bro”, the short skeleton sits by the couch, same place and same hour as he sits every day. Not that it is too hard, Sans has never been occupied with a sense of pride and accomplishment for doing stuff. Some might even say he is lazy, heck he even admits it, he’s a lazybones. Coupled with the fact that even in the surface he knew the best shortcuts, and could cut his travel time by about 95.8 percent, and he was in no rush to arrive places, he has all the time in the world to mess around. And it just so happens that that Christmas, instead of hanging candy canes with papyrus on a poor poor horned monster - It sounded silly, but hey it’s tradition- he had gotten a modern piece of tech. Barely months old. But the humans were eager to impress.   
  
Sans didn’t fall over on their macho bull, sure they are more technologically advanced, but all it takes is one small blue light in an eye pocket and even the bravest of the bravest gulps and gives him space, but he has to admit that human technology is fun to mess around with. Though none of them has figured out time travel yet. Disappointing but what can a skelly bro do?

 

“Nngg”, Papyrus already fears for the worse, how could he not? New interactions with the surface, new things to discover. As much as Papyrus enjoys the car he has, and which isn’t just a bed now, he has to admit it comes with the unfortunate side effect that it amplified Sans’ pun opportunities twenty fold. And he hates, hates, puns.

 

“Hey no need to become all blue”, If Papyrus had eyes he would be rolling them right about now, instead he only sighs in frustration, somehow being able to do it without the air escaping through his ribcage. “Seriously bro, don’t become brittle with frustration!”

 

The infuriating thread of puns threatened to continue in an incessant manner and so Papyrus is quick to bring them to a stop. 

  
“So what did you want to show me, brother?”   
  


“Say hi to Google, bro”   
  
Papyrus sees no one to say hi to, but if there’s one thing he prides himself is in his knowledge of the human world. Which he got from Undyne which she got from Alphys. Though he has yet to see them shake off sweat and give out giant jumps, throwing their sword and impaling the enemy. Maybe that’s for the better. Still Papyrus doesn’t want to reveal he doesn’t know who this Google is. Maybe they’re hidden behind that human shaped lamp, Sans insisted on bringing with him? Well wherever they are he will act as if they’re right in front of him. He won’t be tricked again. Pushing a hand to his temple and scratching he yells out a greeting.   
  
“Hello Google! I the great Papyrus greet you! How are you?”   
  
But no answer came about. Google is clearly being rather rude, but that doesn’t detain the friendly skeleton from trying again. He pushes all the air he can in his chest,  straining the cape and armor he has on - even after all this time, and he yells out.   
  
“Yes well, Google, how are you, Google, doing?”   
  
Still no answer. Is Sans playing a practical prank on him? It wouldn’t be the first time. As the idea comes to him, he hears Sans talk.   
  
“Ok Google, say hi to Papyrus.”   
  
  
A robotic voice comes from somewhere in the room, it is clear yet it sounds distinctly not human, it has an auto-tuned tone to it. The closest Papyrus can come to compare it to something is the voice that Mettaton had. Though it is nowhere near as pleasant. The voice greets him back. Papyrus nearly jumps out of his clothes. There is only one explanation for this - Google is a Ghost, maybe the ghost of a human. Frisk told him that such a thing was possible - that, same as humans evolved from Skeletons, a theory nobody could convince him was wrong, some of them turned into ghosts, there were even stories, by this Stephen King guy. Though claiming the title of king of horror might be a tad much. Papyrus didn’t read many of the stories - he doesn’t enjoy the style or well any writing that isn’t crosswords or instructions for his traps, but that sounds oddly presumptuous. And to top it all Toriel, who insists on visiting almost every other day, supposedly to see how they are adapting, but really, she spends most of the time telling those awful jokes to Sans, says they’re in a democracy. So there are no kings.   
  
Papyrus finds it confusing. But that would explain why he could not see Google, a ghost is invisible when it wants to be.    
  
“Fear not Google! I understand your situation, and I am okay with it! Hello! How are you in your spectral goodness?”

 

Sans snickers. It’s that tone he has where he’s clearly enjoying himself, but his lazy attitude conflicts with it. Where it looks like he can’t even garner the energy to laugh, and yet tries anyway.   
  
“Google is your friend, Papyrus, but they’re not a ghost.”   
  
Papyrus looks befuddled and confused at that. Not a ghost? But then what are they? Where is the voice coming from? Surely not a cellphone, and the tv is turned off.   
  
“Then what are they.”, he realises it might sound rude not asking directly, “What are you Google?”   
  
Sans gets a wicked smile on his face. To be honest Papyrus never saw his brother without some sort of smile stuck on his face, it’s like he has no other expression, but there’s something really malicious and yet fun about the one he has right at that moment. Papyrus has never been afraid of his brother, but he has to admit. He is nervous then.

  
“Ok google, tell me a joke”   
  
And to Papyrus’ horror Google abides by his brother will, they tell a joke, and it is as terrible as he dreaded. And they keep on coming. Even though the weather outside is snowy, and colder than Snowdin he has to push himself to leave.   
  
“Eh, guess he went to cool off”, San says. Noticing that Google still tells the same corny jokes, he just smiles, appreciating the bad humour.

  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> I was having a conversation with some undertale fans about what to write, when one of them sarcastically replied "Google is your friend", a plot bunny emerged from that simple sarcastic statement.
> 
> Hope you're happy now.


End file.
